Sexy men catch bird flu, die

A world-wide pandemic has apparently killed every sexy man in the world.  Possibly the illness was spread at the 2005 Million Sexy Man March where an infected cockatoo flew amongst the crowd and was petted by every sexy man in attendance.  (You know how sexy men love a cockatoo.)

The death of almost every sexy man on the planet has had its repurcussions.  The catering order for my sixth-annual Tree Trimming Brunch has been more than halved.  Appointments are suddenly available at Nickel.  And Matthew McConaughey has been named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.

Not to be hating, but, um, really?  Were none of the boys from the fotologs at Made In Brazil available?  Then again, the People demographic probably doesn't really include me.

Somewhere there is a publicist out there that is going to be getting a nice holiday bonus.

Via Gawker.