Manhattan Offender

Faking your way through the Super Bowl, part I

Consider the facts.  The Super Bowl is an annual event where men come together, dress up in fancy outfits, bump and grind into each other, and at the end many of them have champagne.  Very much like a circuit party, no?

This year, instead of making quizzical face at the mention of the Super Bowl, why not join the party.  To help out, the MO intern, Chico, is researching the Super Bowl. (Okay, there is no Chico, but wouldn't it be hot if there was?)  Anyway, so far Chico has the following to report:

• It is the Super Bowl, not the SuperBowl or the Super-Bowl.  Definitely not the Superb Bowl. 
• This is Super Bowl XL.  This has nothing to do with that strange space in Chelsea called XL.  And it has nothing to do with Trojan Magnum XLs.  XL is Romanian for 40.  The connection between Romania and the Super Bowl is unclear.  A building in my neighborhood has a super from Romania who is a prick and who yells at my dog, so asking him is really out of the question.
• This year's game is between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Seattle Seahawks.  The game will be played in Detroit.  The location of the game has nothing to do with the hometown of the teams involved.  Detroit has a team that will not be participating in the event.
• The Bowl in question has nothing to do with marijuana.  The winners do not receive a bowl, or even a trophy, but they do receive jewelry.
• Diet Pepsi is the official soft drink of the NFL.  Hot, right?

More details to come in the following days.  The goal is to have you ready to go to a Super Bowl party, in the middle of the room and conversant, instead of the usual hanging out in the kitchen.

15 days and counting ...

BLOGWAR, round three

As the catfight continues, the ground is now covered with tatters of clothing and ripped out extensions. Round two saw Michael K from Dlisted completely trounce his opponents. (no results posting as it is just so thorough, but they can be emailed to you, if you're sick like that.)

Now it's the folks with the flesh (and often quite a bit of good content, too). Who will top the fleshpile? Steph and Alek of OhLaLa Paris? Made In Brazil's webmaster (whose name, shockingly, is unknown)? Bill of Tottlyland? Or Jared, he who is Completely Naked? As for those of you that were expecting links to porn for this round, my apologies. This level has however taken the blogwar worldwide. Will there be anyplace unscathed by the ravages of this war?

The bears next? Maybe the diaristas? The varietals are the wildcards and are definitely last to go. (You thought this was planned out?) Soon we will have our finalists and then, our ultimate catfighting blogger will be revealed. Vote now in the upper left!

State of My Union

Fine, thanks, but still not recognized by my government.

BlOgWaR!

Imagine all of your favorite bloggers, painting their claws jungle red and going after each other. With round one complete (results below), it's time to throw the scandalistas into the cage and let the mascara fly. Who will come out on top? Perez, Trent, Michael K, or Jared?

From the first group to throw down, the newsies, the clear winner was Andy Towle, but the other contenders, Rod, Bradford, and Matt were close at the heels (probably trying to see if they were their size).

Next up are the fleshters, all of whom know a bit about, um, body-blows. Then come the diaristas, fleshters, the bears, and the varietals. Soon we will have our finalists and then, our ultimate catfighting blogger will be revealed. Vote now in the upper left!

The Manhattan Offender Interview: Avi, the faceless ultrablogger

Number seventeen in a series.

1. What's your secret to staying so beautiful?
   Bathtub suicide.
2. Is it true what the tabloids are saying about your relationship?
   Monogamous triad with the world's fattest twins is a lie. monogamous triad with the world's fattest cats in the truth.
3. This new project of yours is certainly taking everyone by surprise. Tell us about it.
   I took a very brave, very risky and brave risk by portraying a homosexual cowboy (while simultaneously releasing the massively heterosexual movie casanova) because as we all know no actor has won an Oscar before for portraying a homosexual, especially Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.
4. Who are you wearing?
   I was at the junior prom and had to go to the bathroom and when I looked down there was my baby! So I'm wearing my baby because I don't have scissors to cut the cord because they had a metal detector on the way into the prom so I had to leave my swiss army knife with the little scissors at home.
5. Would you ever do a role that required nudity?
   Just in the casting director's office.

You can learn more about Avi at ultranow (But don't expect to find a picture of him.).

Weekend ketchup

A special shout to MO reader J.A.S.: feel better soon. Here's some stuff to distract you during your recovery this weekend:

• Sell your crap on eBay without all that annoying typing.
• Perhaps the best recent usage of DJ Assault in years.
• I don't think I know many mormons, but I've met this one at several different parties.
• Maybe my sugardaddy lives in London
• You don't find a lot of Brokeback stuff here because others do it justice.
• Instead of giving all of your money to your dealer, maybe some could go to our struggles.
• Drunk pussy.
• Recovering pussy.
• Twisted pussy.

BLOGWAR!

Imagine all of your favorite bloggers, painting their claws jungle red and going after each other. We'll break them up into a few different divisions and bring back the champions for final battle. It's like fantasy football, but gay(er).

The first group to throw down are the newsies These are the resources that you go to everyday. Although it would be assumed that in a fight they would be pretty easy to beat, they're the type that might just surprise you. Our first group of catfighters are TowleRoad, Rod 2.0, Queerty, and Malcontent.

Up next are the scandalistas whom you know are usually rather experienced catfighters. The coming week will see the diaristas, fleshters, the bears, and the varietals. By next Friday we will our finalists and the week after, our ultimate catfighting blogger will be revealed. Vote now in the upper left!

Nicole Richie is eating at your house

MO asks.  You tell.

To be honest, MO agrees with you.  Nicole Richie would bring you a lovely gift, make great conversation, and even help clean up afterward.  Lindsay Lohan would put graffiti in your bathroom and Mary Kate Olsen would bring her entourage for whom you did not make a plate.

Next up:  BLOGWAR!

Show me one gay republican hottie

This one simple little post by Joe.My.God brings me to confess two things. 

First, MO is really good with, like, math.  The guidance counselors et al always wanted me to be an engineer or mathematician (whatever that is).  Whatever.

Second, once upon a time, MO was a registered republican.  The appeal was that of laissez faire government, which, in retrospect is so utterly clueless and, with the desperate marriage of religious right to corporate interests, not really what the republican party is about anymore.  As a more realistic world view came into play, my party affiliation changed.

Genuinely, though, anyone that in this day and time that calls themselves a republican, gay or not, just seems to be a bit off, right?  Last summer, while effectively intoxicated at the Eagle, a guy, lets call her Ellephant, with not one, but three Bush/Cheney buttons bumped into me.  Turning around and eying the buttons, my immediate thought was that it was meant to be ironic, and not started laughing, but also tapped Fang's shoulder and pointed out Elle's buttons, attracting much attention.

Apparently Elle's buttons weren't meant to be ironic.  Oops.

Which brings me to the reason that republicans, especially gay ones, are not hot.  They lack humor, sparkle, wit, glamor, joie de vivre.  But they can change.  I did.

(Via Queerty.)