One of the key reasons for bringing in Chico the intern was his claim to having access to celebrities. Finding himself in a quandry trying to explain the basic process of a football game Chico gave a quick call to his friend, Tara Reid who had this to say:
"Football is, like, so awesome. So, okay, first you get to the stadium in your Land Rover or Escalade or whatever. Then you pull out your keg and start tailgating. There's totally tons of guys around and they are so the best people you will ever meet. And they'll be grilling and playing music and just being, like, wild. So after a while you go to the stadium and you go to your seats, but nobody ever stays in their seats. And these guys start buying you beers. Oh, and don't smoke at the seats. You have to go to VIP for that. If you hear someone start singing, you have to put your hand on your heart and make a serious face, because if the camera catches you goofing, you will so be in Celebrity Living the next day. But after the lady sings - oh, yeah, this year the lady is Aretha Franklin, right? - but after that, the totally hot players come on the field. And I always know at least half of them and they are totally the best people you will ever know. They will always hold back your hair while your puking on a beach in St. Barts, you know? So the two teams come out and one of them kicks the ball and everybody just goes nuts, like nuts. Then there are downs and kickoffs and yelling and huddling and quarterbacks and kickbacks and all of this stuff going on and you can start yelling "Defense" and whatever and people will start doing these big crowd waves, but don't do it in time with them because you can totally attract more boys and attention and cameras by totally messing it up and they'll all be like, "Ha! Look at Tara. She is the bomb." So at half-time the concert starts and this year it is the Rolling Stones whom I'm totally friends with so I'm out of my mind to see them. Oh and don't even start talking to me about that nipple thing. Been there, right? So then they like start the game again and oh, did I mention you can have food ordered to your seat? Some people do that, but I like to throw the popcorn around, and goof on people, but if you eat in your seat there will totally be pictures the next day and it will totally be, like, "Tara eats in large portions. Not Normal" in US, right? Anyway, so when the game ends there are like all these afterparties and clubs and the players are totally wanting to have the best time of their lives and you just go along with the winning team because, you know, whoever it is you were totally for them anyway, right? And, so that's, you know, football, Chico. Omigod, your like one of the best people anybody could ever know."
This intern thing might not be working out.
(And maybe he should have used Star Jones instead of Tara. Via Queerty via Perez.)
