The Manhattan Offender Interview: Greg, the performance artist
- What's your secret to staying so beautiful?
I try to remain open hearted; I drink tons of water and have a healthy diet that's mostly vegetarian and fairly free of dairy and sugar. My quirkiest celebrityesque beauty/health habit: Chia seeds sprinkled on everything. They are so good for you! 
Is it true what the tabloids are saying about your relationship?
Despite what you may have read, Stephen Baldwin and I are just friends. I mean sure, I've seen his penis, but who hasn't? Though I must admit that it was a big life changing experience. He's an upstanding family man ... and the rumors aren't true.- This new project of yours is certainly taking everyone by surprise. Tell us about it.
There are so many projects lately that sometimes I have to look at www.GregWalloch.com just to remember what I'm up to next. I recently presented work in Tel Aviv at Performance Art Platform; it was a truly amazing experience that I will never forget. Recently my work was archived at UC Berkeley's Bancroft Library. The Bancroft houses the personal papers of the Beat Generation poets, the Omaha Magic Theatre archives, and Ansel Adams, among a range of other well known artists. I'm a young artist still in the midst of my career; this was an honor and a complete surprise. - Who are you wearing?
Right now at this very moment I'm wearing a pair of Gap heather gray boxer briefs, a hint of spunk, and CK one. Just another Sunday morning in New York... - Would you ever do a role that required nudity?
It depends on the part. I would like the role to have that Merchant Ivory style of nudity. Dame Judi Dench and Maggie Smith are having tea on the moor while their absent husbands are at the range shooting clay pigeons. Far off in the distance the women notice me wandering naked in a field of purple clover, the morning dew collects on my lower back then slowly rolls down my youthful buttocks. Judi Dench roughly straightens up in her chair and snorts in disdain. Maggie Smith in a stolen moment covertly peers through her bird watching spectacles, all the while her gloved hand pressed against her chest at the base of her throat. Deep inside a feeling is welling up that she hasn't known in years, yet somehow she instinctively understands that this is a desire she can never quench. Judi Dench exclaims "Absolutely appalling!" The women sit silent in the gray morning mist drinking tea. Heard coming up the stone path are the men returning from the hunt. Fade out. Something like that ... or gay porn.
Learn more about Greg at his website.
