My brain is too fiery. Or mis-firing. Or something like that. Like, thoughts just aren't coming in long-form format. Is this the beginning of dementia? Alzheimer's? Adult-onset-retardation? The thought is not because new concepts can be learned. i.e.: trousero is slang for ass in Portuguese. And I'm still able to answer questions about myself. As in, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" and "Could you give my mother your seat?"
So since someone smarter than me posted a meme, why the fuck not, right?
50 things about MO
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
How much longer can this go on?
2. How much cash do you have on you?
$19.00 and a chip for a free drink during Happy Hour at Gym Bar.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
Whore. Queen Noor.
4. Favorite planet?
Janet.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
The tallest person I've ever dated, but it wasn't really a date. More of a "two guys meeting to do a mutually aggreed upon activity outside of the home".
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I have yet to figure out how to change it, but "Slow Lesbian Porn Theme" has grown on me over the years.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Three shirts: Black Hugo Boss cotton/Lycra wife-beater. Black American Apparel Thermal. Gray loose-knit angora Zara sweater.
8. Do you "label" yourself?
With a Dy-mo.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing?
This is embarrassing, but Marc Jacobs.
10. Bright or dark room?
Ambient room.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Although I don't reall "think" about him, it could be said that he is smarter, more successful, and better looking than me. But fatter.
12. What does your watch look like?
I haven't worn a watch since the mid-nineties, but I inherited my father's Rolex when he died. Since I've never really looked at it, it's looks elude me.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping on the sofa with a laptop screen of ManHunt blinking away and a television screen of credits for The Colbert Report rolling. However, as I was sleeping maybe there were thirty poltergeists dancing around me to my unawares.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Let me check the BAM schedule. Getting to my desk now."
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
23rd and Park.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
I'll give you a few: Fuck, awesome, what, sorry, I, and, the, a.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
He-she? Lina. He? EB. She? My company's office manager.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My face.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Three. Assuming you count multi-vitamins.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Paleolithic.
22. Your worst enemy?
Cock-blockers.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Image of East River as taken from South Point Park.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"If we modify this, it's going to throw off production by a week."
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
I could easily make more than one million bucks with my ability to fly, assuming that no one else is granted the ability at the same time.
26. Do you like someone?
I like everyone except a lot of people.
27. The last song you listened to?
That "Slow Lesbian Porn Theme" from my cell phone.
28. What time of day were you born?
9:07 a.m. Libra, double-Scorpio.
29. What's your favorite number?
One.
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Bloomington, Indiana in the Willkie Dormitory and later Varsity Villas.
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
As pointed out by Eric, the proper term is envious. Everyone has something that would be nice to have as my own, but there is no obsession regarding this.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Once someone gets to know me, any such feeling would fade quickly.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Coming out of a subway at 50th and Third. Some lady grabbed my arm and told me what was happening. Went to the office. Coordinated our group's evacuation and telephone tree. Bought the assistant wearing three-inch heels some sneakers at New Balance on the corporate card. Walked home.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Look at the angle at which the piece is stuck. Evaluate where to hit the machine using trigonometric calculation. Hit the machine. Works about 70% of the time.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Yes, but I'm an ass about it.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I'm too hairy to consider this.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Farsi.
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
If it were an upgrade. For both of us.
39. Are you touchy feely?
Secretly.
40. What's your life motto?
Does my lack of a motto explain the rudderless feeling that I feel currently. Does this make me a good candidate for Scientology or Landmark?
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Driver's license, AMEX, library card.
42. What's your favorite town/city?
Cherry Grove.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Car service from Jackson Heights to Astoria.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Ten x-mas cards are going out today. About 50 more this weekend.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Not these modern cars. Anything prior to 1985, probably, with some reminding.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
He died from AIDS in 1995. A painting of his still hangs in my apartment.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Nine-sixteenths German; three-sixteenths Norwegian; three-sixteenths English; one-sixteenth Native American.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Alexander McQueen black moleskin suit for a client visit.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Hands are numb. Coccyx feels pressured. Tightness between shoulders.
50. Have you been burned by love?
Of course. But am told I have burned as well.
